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“Itsy Bitsy Spiders”
Director, Writer: Bertrand Paré
Edwin: Julian Feder
Agatha: Jessica Galinas
The Collector 1: Britt Prentice
The Collector 2: Matthew Vorce
Doctor: Joe Maggard
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:38 what kind of monster leaves a kid with no hand mobility to handle his own fork??? GOOD LUCK FEEDING YOURSELF, KIDDO
:40 ALSO, who drinks dairy while eating spaghetti? ew.
1:20 his hands look fine?
1:50 is this how normal boys play?
2:56 okay, I see a pattern here..
3:10 IN HIS DEFENSE they all DID look like spiders??
3:17 no spider drawings
3:24 ENTIRE WALL SECTION OF SPIDER DRAWINGS w/ relaxed posture, like AS IF the kid wouldn’t have run the equivalent of a DOODLE MARATHON to have accomplished such a task in 6 to 7 seconds time!!
3:57 face like, “I’m painting ova ya spida friends, ya little shit! and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
6:00 another timed drawing modern day miracle appears. somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records already.
7:19 MY MOM HAS THAT TERRIFYING CLASSIC BUNNY DOLL W/ BLINKABLE EYES.
7:46 “this’ll teach the little boy, we’re stealing his rat doll.” – actual pedophile thoughts.
8:28 “I hope nobody breaks into my place and steals the lipstick I put on in the morning to match my pajama bottoms.”
9:21 man playing with his boogers on the wall.
9:53 HOW RUDE.
10:04 “and then this “Spider Man” just swung off into the night! well dung-gone it, I just ain’t ever seen anything like it!”
10:24 “I knew I left my glasses…SOMEWHERE”
10:56 “BY GOD, I’VE CURED HIM W/ THE MIRACLE OF MODERN SCIENCE”
Lesson: Don’t be a thieving pedophile or let anyone tell you you can’t draw on the walls.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩