Porcelain

Description: Lucy and Sam – two siblings home alone for the weekend. What horrors will unfold when Lucy finds a porcelain doll in an old box in the attic?

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SB Thoughts:

:08 this is already extremely unnerving

:49 “hey uh, Sam, what the fuck was all that rollie pollie ollie shit that just happened real loud above our heads?”

1:28 that floral wallpaper is as pretty as it is ugly

1:48 um, okay?

2:00 –YOU KNO I’M GONNA THO

2:33 that is not a sight you just brush off. box it all back up. burn it.

3:26 CARPET YES.

3:38 cry with fear and burn it already

4:06 ask yourself, is there a fan in my house? if no, IT’S SPOOKS afoot.

4:29 since when is there a bench there? and why is this doll SO HIGH?

4:46 I can’t be the only one imagining her waking up naked and laying spread eagle in the middle of a circle of candles right now

5:01 okay, that’s three too many sets of hands. you’re under arrest for spooking me out.

5:58 SEE THOSE DREAM HANDS, LUCY?? those were MY dream hands…

6:15 “ya, I also speak and exist”

6:45 NOW THE DOLL IS A DRONE

6:58 lemme get that comforter tho

7:11 lemme get those doors tho

7:33 “I was just learning how to play the piano –SO I CAN KILL YOU SOFTLY WITH MY SONG”

7:51 “time to drink my daily dose of diarrhea”

9:07 this family owns so many fucking candles

9:33 hahaha

10:26 I remember my first time applying eye shadow

10:39 what’s that, just one of those Halloween decorations?

10:44 QUITE THE TIME JUMP

10:52 why would this guy just big full arm fireplace diggin’ like that??

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Lesson: Never go in your attic if you’re allergic to death by porcelain spook.

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Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

The Orchard

Description: A group of teenagers come back from a party when their car breaks down.

Filmed on Canon 6D

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My Website
http://www.jacobsouza.com/

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SB Thoughts:

:39 “I gotta pee…OUT THIS DEMON”

:59 robbie, you are a bad actor

1:14 “Robbie, you know I’m actually gay right?”

1:38 “babe, no one gives a fuck, just get to peein on those apples”

2:00 “tonight I wore my best bed sheet for the occasion”

2:28 “welp, I don’t see any apples. guess I’ll just pee on this cross”

2:38 hahahahah LIKE SHE DIDN’T SEE THAT CIRCLE OF CANDLES BEFORE WE PANNED TO IT. (sorry for possession shaming)

3:32 “shh shh, guys, check out this circle of candles we all saw from back by the car because we’ve been walking maybe 30 feet”

3:45 “demon whispers, demon whispers”

4:24 “i don’t know what to do…let’s make out about it”

4:35 possessed by a rooster

5:23 LUCY JAPANESE JAPANESE JAPANESE DOMO RIGATO MR– error

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Lesson: If you have to pee on the side of the road, don’t walk into the obvious demonic circle of candles and you’ll be fine.

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Rating: 2 out of 5 stars ✩✩