Tag Archives: dessert

Family Dinner

Description: None provided.

SB Thoughts:

:23 sushi, niiiiiiiice

:51 those are empty. WHAT GIVES???

1:20 what’s wrong, grumpy face?

2:52 sounds like his son is a dog.

3:35 buns

3:53 littering is against the law!

4:17 who are they fooling that that’s a boy? but i guess, who actually cares, gender is fluid.

4:52 you get empty sushi

5:04 “YOU’LL EAT EMPTY SUSHI AND YOU’LL LIKE IT!!!!” is what they didn’t say.

5:38 “that’s right, eat it, motherfucker.” – also what they didn’t say.

6:25 “NO DADS, ONLY EMPTY SUSHI!!!” – these lesbians

6:45 “now you die and we make sushi of you.” – also these lesbians

7:20 “eat your son” – these lesbians

7:50 “he’s taking a nap –IN THE SHOWER– OF YOUR MOUTH” – ALSO ALSO THESE LESBIANS.

8:44 dessert is his balls.

Lesson: Lesbians eat men in sushi. Fuck the patriarchy.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

Domestica

Description: A master chef finds herself in a losing battle against an army of buzzing foes right before a big dinner.

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Domestica

Crew:
Director, Writer: Zach Lorkiewicz

Cast:
Meg Stanton

Crypt TV:

We love scary stories, we believe scary stories unite us and the best ones make us a little more connected to each other. Crypt collaborates with storytellers around the world to bring the next generation of monster stories to life — for you, for free, everyday. Follow us @CryptTV everywhere and find your #MonsterWithin.

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SB Thoughts:

:02 anything would be better than that Cupcake Wars show

:36 dude. that fly was packin’ blood.

1:00 that looks like hot sauce

1:08 pullin’ out the big guns

1:19 the suicide bomber of flies

1:52 your kitchen is grody

2:09 housewife level 20

2:23 your cake somehow dodged the incessant blood bath

2:38 fly IN THE FORM OF: DOLLOP OF FROSTING

2:46 maybe this could have been given a second thought

Lesson: Becoming domesticated; it’s a trap.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩

Dead Love

Description: A lonely man finally finds true love.

SB Thoughts:

:10 getta loada that beard

:34 ketchupy nailpolish

:44 THAT’S AN ORGREENIC PAN! Those pans are the best.

:50 pro tip: whenever anyone cooks meat in a horror movie, its always human meat

1:24 necrophilia.png

1:34 silly goose, how could you forget the salt??

1:45 hey, so like, beardy maybe actually she’s not your type?

1:58 woof

2:17 she just wanted to cuddle

Lesson: She wanted dessert first, if you know what I mean.

morticia.gif

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩