Tag Archives: detective


Description: Two detectives investigate a crime so terrifying that remnants of an unspeakable evil still lurk in the home.

Starring: Hugh McCrae Jr., Terrance Roundtree, Tonya Adamski, Reavis Dorsey and Karlie O’Hearn
Written By: Corey Schubert and Eric Joel La Fuente
Directed By: David Ugarte
Produced By: David Ugarte, Corey Schubert
Makeup Effects By: Candy Domme

Other Escape Velocity Films:

Hell of a Deal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9BYO…

Fifty-Two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvMh4…

The Crate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utFom…

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EscapeVeloci…

SB Thoughts:

3:48 that man just puked up A LOT of orange juice

5:50 what’s that dinosaur leg doing there?

6:59 “that’s just some douchebag art student trying to express themselves”

10:14 the joker in a robe

11:31 more art student failure

12:34 (its a fart)

12:50 samurai Voldemort

13:42-14:37 a very mean science fair volcano

Lesson: Fuck the police.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

Itsy Bitsy Spiders

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“Itsy Bitsy Spiders”

Director, Writer: Bertrand Paré

Edwin: Julian Feder
Agatha: Jessica Galinas
The Collector 1: Britt Prentice
The Collector 2: Matthew Vorce
Doctor: Joe Maggard

Crypt TV:

We love scary stories, we believe scary stories unite us and the best ones make us a little more connected to each other. Crypt collaborates with storytellers around the world to bring the next generation of monster stories to life — for you, for free, everyday. Follow us @CryptTV everywhere and find your #MonsterWithin.

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SB Thoughts:

:38 what kind of monster leaves a kid with no hand mobility to handle his own fork??? GOOD LUCK FEEDING YOURSELF, KIDDO

:40 ALSO, who drinks dairy while eating spaghetti? ew.

1:20 his hands look fine?

1:50 is this how normal boys play?

2:56 okay, I see a pattern here..

3:10 IN HIS DEFENSE they all DID look like spiders??

3:17 no spider drawings

3:24 ENTIRE WALL SECTION OF SPIDER DRAWINGS w/ relaxed posture, like AS IF the kid wouldn’t have run the equivalent of a DOODLE MARATHON to have accomplished such a task in 6 to 7 seconds time!!

3:57 face like, “I’m painting ova ya spida friends, ya little shit! and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

6:00 another timed drawing modern day miracle appears. somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records already.


7:46 “this’ll teach the little boy, we’re stealing his rat doll.” – actual pedophile thoughts.

8:28 “I hope nobody breaks into my place and steals the lipstick I put on in the morning to match my pajama bottoms.”

9:21 man playing with his boogers on the wall.

9:53 HOW RUDE.

10:04 “and then this “Spider Man” just swung off into the night! well dung-gone it, I just ain’t ever seen anything like it!”

10:24 “I knew I left my glasses…SOMEWHERE”


Lesson: Don’t be a thieving pedophile or let anyone tell you you can’t draw on the walls.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩