Tag Archives: dick

I’m Home

Description: EDIT: Not sure why this is randomly getting so many views, this was a quick side project we did based off a little cool idea we had. Check out some of the other films on my channel for some of my more major works.

Written, Directed, and Produced by Adam Present and Matt San Miguel
Starring Julia Robinson, with Lucas San Miguel
Cinematography, Editing, and Sound Mixing and Editing by Matt San Miguel and Adam Present
Visual Effects by Sam Lowenburg

SB Thoughts:

1:08 “thanks for setting a place for me. ” – plate moving spook

1:18 “right back atcha” – also a plate moving spook

2:05 TV; it’ll rotcha brains

2:32 spooks gotta shower too

3:00 gonna make a wild guess it’s not Jack

3:14 power outage? the lasagna is DOOMED.

3:39 creepy woman’s voice, never good.

4:02 jack’s a dick.

Lesson: Jolly Green Giant had a hipster son.

green.png

green-giant

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩

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The Masochist

Description: SUBSCRIBE for weekly horror shorts every Tueday, Thursday & Friday! https://www.youtube.com/crypttv?sub_c…
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“The Masochist”

Directors: Kondelik Brothers
Writers: Jon & James Kondelik
Cinematography: Kyle Stryker

Starring:
Masochist: Jonathan Nation
Sam: Finn Kobler
Fat Pat: Zion Healy
2nd Masochist: Kalie Acheson
Rick the Dick: Reno Selsmer

Crypt TV:

We love scary stories, we believe scary stories unite us and the best ones make us a little more connected to each other. Crypt collaborates with storytellers around the world to bring the next generation of monster stories to life — for you, for free, everyday. Follow us @CryptTV everywhere and find your #MonsterWithin.

SUBSCRIBE to watch a daily, new short horror film every day from Crypt TV. Our scary movies will leave you shocked, disturbed and creeped out to your core. Crypt TV recently won a Webby for its film, “The Birch,” which has garnered 14 million views (and counting) on Facebook. Crypt TV was also honored as the digital keynote at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival. Check back daily for more award-winning digital scares!

SB Thoughts:

:08 high five ALCOHOLIC DAD

:28 hahaha this couldn’t be anymore perfect for teenage white dudes. they love violence.

:54 flawless transition into a religious pun, Carnie

1:11 this is exactly the kind of thing boys who use vagina as an insult promote

1:44 “oh shit, alcoholic dad? sorry about that baseball to the head and stuff”

1:50 his deep seeded daddy issues are tingling

2:28 ooo the man-up resentment is tangible

2:33 nail baseball to the dick

2:49 who needs dads, I guess?

Lesson: Toxic masculinity, it’ll kill ya.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩✩

The Hole Next Door

Description: SUBSCRIBE for daily short horror films: https://www.youtube.com/crypttv?sub_c…

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FOLLOW us on: https://www.instagram.com/crypttv/
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The Hole Next Door

Crew:
Executive Producer: Jeremy Elliot
Producer: Sam Claitor
Director: Chad & Ryan Chamberlain
Writer: David Bush

Production Manager: Sean O’Regan
Production Accountant: Sam Claitor
Production Designer: Whitney Spangler
DP: Chad Chamberlain
Boom Operator: Leslie Chamberlain
Editor: Chad Chamberlain

Crypt TV:

We love scary stories, we believe scary stories unite us and the best ones make us a little more connected to each other. Crypt collaborates with storytellers around the world to bring the next generation of monster stories to life — for you, for free, everyday. Follow us @CryptTV everywhere and find your #MonsterWithin.

SUBSCRIBE to watch a daily, new short horror film every day from Crypt TV. Our scary movies will leave you shocked, disturbed and creeped out to your core. Crypt TV recently won a Webby for its film, “The Birch,” which has garnered 14 million views (and counting) on Facebook. Crypt TV was also honored as the digital keynote at the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival. Check back daily for more award-winning digital scares!

SB Thoughts:

:00 $10 says it’s a glory hole

:03 what is that, maple syrup?

:15 FUCKING CALLED IT.

:26 annnnddd….dick in the eye

:28 aHHHH OHHHHHHTHAT’S SO MUCH WORSE

:34 what a clean extraction

:40 #blessed

Lesson: gloryhole.jpg

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

Vicious

Description: Viewing suggestion: Watch alone, in the dark, with headphones.

Vicious has won eight awards internationally, including Gold Award for Best International Film at Toronto After Dark and Platinum Award at the LA Horror Competition. It was nominated for a further seven awards, including Melis d’Argent at Molins in Spain.

Thank you so much for taking the time to watch Vicious – I really hope you enjoyed it. I’ve been writing scary stories since I was very young and I am so excited to finally get the first of many ideas made into a finished film. I have many more scripts ready to go into production, including the feature length version of Vicious. If you’re interested in getting involved or want to get in touch please do at info@oliverpark.co.uk

If you want to see more horror, subscribe and you’ll be notified when my next short ‘Still’ goes live!

This film can also be viewed on Vimeo here – https://vimeo.com/143537386

Written, directed and produced by Oliver Park.
http://viciousmovie.com
http://oliverpark.co.uk

Twitter – @Oliver_Park / @ViciousFilm

Copyright Oliver Park.

SB Thoughts:

:32 this camera let’s no solid object get in its way.

1:39 this lady is not fuckin around when she comes home

2:11 lemme get that spooky painting

2:36 the only thing scary in this house is you

2:50 camera, you’re going the wrong wayy, shes going the other way

3:26 this angle is what nightmares are made of

3:28 ugh, half-spook

4:05 “look at the camera like you’re going to terrifyingly haunt your loved ones”

4:21 camera, go home, you’re drunk.

5:10 baby cloverfield monster

5:31 oh, I hate that.

5:45 “I’m just a filthy slob”

6:10 “now my filth is coming to consume me”

6:16 she is peeing herself

6:23 this is SO not okay

6:28 survey shows: “the least okay” of them all

6:43 like, actually, just kill me.

6:58 that face you make when you spooked your pants

7:05 yeah, probably best leave it on.

7:23 this is just the alien from signs. TOO BAD YOU DON’T LITTER CUPS OF WATER EVERYWHERE INSTEAD OF CLOTHES, Sharon.

7:58 this is where you leave the house

8:08 doors are hard tho.

8:21 “Collect call from: HELL..if you would like to accept this call, please press 4”

8:52 most terrifying camera pan – ever

9:53 use light as a sword

9:59 dick ghost is a dick

10:18 “oh I’m sorry, did you want your keys? would be a shame..if someone…closed… the door..”

10:41 YOU STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW.

you, me, and everyone sees that this is an unacceptably bad decision you’re making.

11:17 sexy LAYdah

sexyLAYDAh.png

11:20

ladyafter.png

11:23 nowkith

Lesson: Having a perfect aesthetic can’t save you from death.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

 

Urban Legends | Episode 3

Description: Episode III of the Web Series | URBAN LEGENDS.

‘Whether it’s homicides or hauntings, monsters or madmen, we all know the tales of woe that happened to a friend of a friend.

This dark anthology retells a series of sinister stories that have been famously told around the world with all of us having once, or still believing in an Urban Legend.’

http://www.morduepictures. com/urbanlegends

Written by: Luke Mordue.

Directed by: Luke Mordue.

Produced by: Natasha Branson. Nathaniel Francis. Luke Mordue. Kirsty Proffitt. Hannah-Lee Osborn.

SB Thoughts:

:34 you did me a spook one kidney’d man

1:10 “hey boi, you look like you have at least one healthy kidney” ; )

1:49 that look you give him when you’re an organ hunter

3:09 “sit, good boy.”

3:30 that look you give when you think she wants dick & not to harvest your kidney

4:43 ♫SEVEN-SEVEN-THREE ♩ TWO-OH-TWO ♩ LUNA!!♫

5:46 “hey dumbo, I took your kidney, kbye ӫ”

Lesson: Make your own drinks.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars ✩✩