Mr Creak

Description: STAY UP TO DATE WITH MR CREAK: https://www.facebook.com/mrcreakmovie/

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SB Thoughts:

:28 where are we right now?

:32 somewhere with dolls, that’s for sure

:43 lemme get that wallpaper tho

1:00 are we in her attic? who’s to say??

1:33 doll house covered in vines or blood?

1:55 that’s not a good sign

2:02 this deserves it’s own stand alone.

2:28 whoever left these notes is a certain kinda meanie

2:35 maybe just don’t read this one?

2:51 FUCK THIS DOLL HOUSE

3:25 LISTEN TO THE PAPER, LADY

3:28 he’s just a big ol’ bat

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Lesson: Don’t consult dollhouses for ANYTHING.

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Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

Dying Beauty

Description: A widow is left lifeless after a gruesome car accident took the life of her baby boy and husband. After waking up from a nightmare she realizes she has to try to move on with her life and carry them with her wherever she goes. But is it too late?

Directed by James Allen

Widow played by Izabel Pavlova

Ghost played by J’shaun Allen

Music by Jeucey Negrete and Gage Farnes

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SB Thoughts:

1:22 have you heard of tinder?

1:31 ..was this shot really necessary?

1:41 time to eat pills and drink my fruit punch

1:49 uh you dropped your fruit punch

1:55 – 2:11 now it’s getting everywhere

2:34 sometimes we all dream we killed ourselves, witch Melania

3:02 “I wish I was married to this stuffed dog, but instead I’m married to Donald Trump”

3:23 “this is where I would put my baby……………….”

3:35 what is a cyclops doing in that baby bedroom?

3:43 ugh you have terrible taste in coffee

4:29 – 4:52 so glad we got this car footage in the film

5:05 time to buy cat food for that cat that didn’t exist in my home

5:30 totally forget the cat food

5:38 hahah what

6:18 you think you can just go out and buy cat food dead on black-sheet’d-ghost-in-your-hallway’s watch?!?! THINK AGAIN.

6:28 someone turned your nice stuffed dog into a dirty white eyed porcelain doll

6:34 and glued others to your ceiling

6:36 also, hands?

6:50 someone get this woman an emmy

7:17 what is it, witch Melania? speak.

7:28 ah yeah, about that..

7:44 don’t you hate it when your living room floor turns into a sand fire pit, black smoke seeps from under your basement door, the rubberman from AHS crawls your walls, and your front door is unleave-able?

8:10 just what this short needed –a drone.

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Lesson: When all else fails, bring in the drone footage.

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Rating: 2 out of 5 stars ✩✩

Porcelain

Description: Lucy and Sam – two siblings home alone for the weekend. What horrors will unfold when Lucy finds a porcelain doll in an old box in the attic?

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SB Thoughts:

:08 this is already extremely unnerving

:49 “hey uh, Sam, what the fuck was all that rollie pollie ollie shit that just happened real loud above our heads?”

1:28 that floral wallpaper is as pretty as it is ugly

1:48 um, okay?

2:00 –YOU KNO I’M GONNA THO

2:33 that is not a sight you just brush off. box it all back up. burn it.

3:26 CARPET YES.

3:38 cry with fear and burn it already

4:06 ask yourself, is there a fan in my house? if no, IT’S SPOOKS afoot.

4:29 since when is there a bench there? and why is this doll SO HIGH?

4:46 I can’t be the only one imagining her waking up naked and laying spread eagle in the middle of a circle of candles right now

5:01 okay, that’s three too many sets of hands. you’re under arrest for spooking me out.

5:58 SEE THOSE DREAM HANDS, LUCY?? those were MY dream hands…

6:15 “ya, I also speak and exist”

6:45 NOW THE DOLL IS A DRONE

6:58 lemme get that comforter tho

7:11 lemme get those doors tho

7:33 “I was just learning how to play the piano –SO I CAN KILL YOU SOFTLY WITH MY SONG”

7:51 “time to drink my daily dose of diarrhea”

9:07 this family owns so many fucking candles

9:33 hahaha

10:26 I remember my first time applying eye shadow

10:39 what’s that, just one of those Halloween decorations?

10:44 QUITE THE TIME JUMP

10:52 why would this guy just big full arm fireplace diggin’ like that??

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Lesson: Never go in your attic if you’re allergic to death by porcelain spook.

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Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

House of Prey

Description: Filmed at Victoria’s Black Swan Inn, one of the most haunted location in the United States.

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SB Thoughts:

:05 already annoyed by this mute car alarm

:53 chandelier love

1:03 I hope that terrifying gold backed woman in the painting does the predator-ing

1:44 annnnd…no one was surprised about a collection of porcelain dolls on premises

2:01 :O grudge level spooked

2:07 aw fuck, bizarro world drag queen woman in black

2:10 on second look…is that just ANOTHER member of the Voldemort family whose style pays homage to Darth Maul??

2:25 I didn’t expect the invisible man to show up, or that he would have at some point become a vampire…but I guess, I shouldn’t make so many assumptions…

2:31 it sounds like he actually just bit a hole in her neck – to throw up in

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Lesson: Found footage usually leaves more questions than answers.

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Rating: 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩